CT scan

Tomorrow we get the results from my wife’s first CT since starting chemo.
I think we’ve been on edge for a week now. It’s hard to know how to feel. She looks good, feels good, does that mean the results will show the cancer has shrunk? We’ve been through way too many emotional roller coasters lately, I really don’t know how much more I can take.
I nearly had a panic attack just before falling asleep last night. So many thoughts swirling around in my head, it makes me dizzy.

Right after we get the results, whatever they are, my wife then has to sit through another 6 hour chemo treatment. Of course I sit right there with her, we make a day if it. As shitty as it is, we do our best to make it enjoyable.

It’s funny, I keep catching myself gasping for a breath every so often. I guess I’m holding my breath without realizing it.

This fork in the road of our journey, has brought us closer as a couple, which I didn’t think was possible. I only wish I could make everything ok again. Make my wife healthy again. But I can’t… I can only listen to her, hug her, hold her, cry with her, encourage her, and be with her, every step of the way, and love her.
Aside from that, what can I do for her?!

My sister is convinced that the results will be in our favour. I hope she’s right.

I doubt either of us will get much sleep tonight. This feels like the night before the appointment, when we waited to know if she had cancer in the first place. That sucked, and so did the results. But we weren’t prepared, well how can you be? We’re not prepared this time either, but we’ve had just about the worst news ever already, when the doc said she could either get better or go quickly. So, I have to believe the news tomorrow will be better than that.
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***positive thoughts and energy***
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This is what will get us through!

~ update ~
The scans showed, the cancer is shrinking! F#%king incredible! Let’s keep the miracles happening!
Positive energy is amazing, thank you!